Leader: Ready or not here you come!
The role of a parent is one that invites us... Strike that. Compels us. Nope - Actually requires us to wear many different hats. Not only are we wearing many hats (sometimes all at once), but we are seamlessly changing wardrobe to choose the best accessory for the job - all day, every day. We are the teachers, the cooks, the chauffeurs, the referees, the zen masters, the providers, the triagers, the safety nets, the punching bags, the adventure partners, the rule makers [and breakers]... I’m not sure where the list really ends. And yet, one of the most challenging to recognize in all of that (at least for me) is the leader.
When I think about a leader, it’s someone who got an A in their high school public speaking class without clutching their notecards for dear life. It’s someone who has a solid sense of self, an evidence-based opinion, and an uncanny ability to motivate others to follow simply by being who they are.
So, me? A leader? The thought makes me scoff. I wonder how “leader” lands with you. Where in my life would I be considered a leader? Surely not in an executive position where my salary is reflective. Sometimes not even in my own head. And then it dawned on me. My most treasured, hefty title of them all is my glaring answer: mother. As a parent, the truth is I am ½ of the founders of this family. If I founded this thing, I must have some leadership stake in it.
There is something profound about stepping into the role of leader. Something pivotal about taking on this perspective. Peering through the lens of a business owner can be starkly different than that of an employee. If we are brave enough to step out from beneath the shade of the umbrella of “shoulds”, “do more”, and “you’re doing it all wrong”, could we lead with conviction? Could we navigate decisions with greater ease? Could we have unwavering trust in ourselves and in the wholeness of our children? There is no certain recipe for success, no instruction manual for this parenting gig. Knowing this, how would it be to lead in cahoots with who we really are (including our values, morals, and vision for being)? This authentic leadership is truly exclusive. It’s a one-of-a-kind approach only we can offer. How invaluable. How irreplaceable.
In parenthood, you and I are leading whether or not we’re ready to lead. Whether or not we consider ourselves to be a leader. Whether or not leadership is part of our identity. We have followers simply because we are who we are to them. As they grow, they will challenge, may learn from, and can decide whether they subscribe to our leadership. They may become lifelong followers or might start their own company with a different leadership style entirely.
Parenthood serves as an excellent test for how you fare as a leader. There is no shortage of trials and tribulations. How do you navigate an ever changing terrain as each child develops? How do you bob and weave when a wrench gets thrown into your plan? How do you show up amidst the chaos (albeit beautiful at times) that is inevitable?
I continue to edit the answers to these questions, in real time, each day. While the winds of parenting change regularly, I find the values of my leadership to remain constant. I hold onto these tenets, especially when parenting challenges make me feel like I’m flapping in the breeze. Reliability. Consistency. Compassion. Respect. Empowerment. Communication. Collaboration. Kindness. Safety. Acceptance. Connection. Honesty. Humanity.
Ready or not, at the beginning, middle, and end of every day, I am a leader. I have two followers: They are 1 and 3 years old. I work to intentionally lead both within myself and in my life. Leadership in parenting extends far beyond the littles who follow, for they go out into the world and lead for themselves as they have learned.
And so, as a founder of your family, how do you want to show up as the invaluable leader you are? What is core to your exclusive, authentic brand of leadership? Own it. Rock it. Live it.
