Motherhood in the woods
It’s funny (or maybe that’s not the right word) how it feels like in motherhood you’re never quite out of the woods.
There are no certainties when it comes to starting a family - making the brave leap into the unknown that comes with parenthood (even before it begins). You might find yourself saying “I’ll feel better when I just make it to ______ (positive pregnancy test, first OB appointment, second trimester, anatomy scan, viability, term, labor & delivery…). After each checkpoint, there seems to be another in its place to yearn for. It never quite feels like you’re out of the woods.
Finally, when a baby is born, a new mother is too. You’re sorting out how to do this parenting thing as you’re getting to know the both of you. The newness, finally meeting your tiny person, sleep deprivation, uncertainties - all of it can make you feel wildly overwhelmed and simultaneously filled to the brim with gratitude. It feels as though the newborn phase would be the most challenging - the period most likely to cause us to feel lost. But making it past this moment in time doesn’t mean you’re quite out of the woods.
Sometimes the deep realization of what a long game motherhood is sets in later than expected. Maybe it’s a few weeks or several months or a year down the line. As you get the hang of a little routine and things don’t feel quite so foreign, it might hit you one day. The feeling that “this is my life now”. In a way that things are forever changed. In the most joyous way, but also like a lull you feel coming down off the high of the holidays. And it doesn’t feel like you’re quite out of the woods.
Per a 2023 CDC published study, 7.2% of women 9-10 months postpartum exhibited depressive symptoms, more than half of whom had not reported those symptoms at 2-6 months following birth. Feeling down in motherhood does not have an expiration date or a prescribed timeframe. Sometimes it comes when we least expect it and passes quickly. Other times it sticks around a while. It can be hard to feel like we can ever get out of the woods.
While we often yearn for a clearing - a space to feel at ease and carefree between the runny noses and big feelings and tons of other things - I think the key may be learning to thrive amongst the trees.
